Basicly nobody really knows me

And it sounds so depressed, and negative when I say it, but it isn't really.
People jsut assume of what I am, or people believe what I tell them to believe. Even my own mind. I have seriously conducted sort of experiments on me, in where I caught myself, how easily even my own mind can be fooled. Or how subjective about 99 percent of my emotions are.
Which makes me faintly aware, that some buddhists don't need emotions. And hell, if they are fiction anyway, why should I?
Why would I need pain, why would I need happiness, why would I need jealousy, why would I need envy, why do I need pureity, why would I need love?
Seriously, there is no use, if you can enduce them whenever you want to.

And I know, most of my readers will not agree with me, and many will not even want to think about it. But I am not saying these emotions can be great, I am just saying, they became a bit obsolete. Or is it because i was dumped again? No it isn't, but it does make me realise.

Which renders me with another weird thought:
Why do I even live? What is the Use, of me living?

And if it were just for me, there isn't any reason for me to live, their just isn't. And I am not speaking from a depressed mind. But from a reasonable, logic brain.
But I am not comitting suicide or anything, that hasn't got any use either.

Because I have use for others. Because many people don't accept or understand the bold letters in this piece. They don't believe it, and yes, their life isn't mine. But I am speaking out of a lives experience, that should mean something.

But it doesn't really to me. And because nothing really matters, I can do whatever I want to, whatever freedom requires.

Cause, why would love matter, if not even one percent of the humans knows what it is?
Why should hate matter, if not even one percent of the humans knows how to put it aplty to use? Why should dispaer matter, if not even one percent of the humans can remain calm while doing so. Why should happiness matter, if not even one percent of the humans know it doesn't come alone?

And, yes this is bold, this is angry, this is fictional. But I am right, just believe it for a change. Stop fucking around, I can't give you arguments, if you are afraid to find out even one thing I claimed here in these few pieces. I though about this long enough. I have persisted, and been hurt well enough. And I have even been loved enough. That makes me a better man.

Because I choose life.

And it is a choice which I am fully aware of what it implies, and what difficulties lie ahead. It is a choice, I have because I understand the question, and I know, not even one percent of the people here know the meaning of the question..

I choose life, and my reasons are right, for I am right to state them the way they are.

And fuck it, I know I said you can never be right, and perhaps I am not, but now, nobody has given me, or is about to give any good argument to claim otherwise. This is logically acceptable. And just believe it, I am mentally insane, because my comprehension IQ, is of the scale, meaning over 200. And you didn't know that did you? you could have guessed by checking ISI-S!

For now, goodnight. leave my words to contemplate. Form a religion for all I care, because I have the faint idea, nobody else will take the effort and time I did to find these things out. things that really took, more then half of my life.

Regards, Frederik