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November 2009 
Stupidity
Posted on Oct 31st, 2009
by 
Domus Ulixes
Domus Ulixes
Theo Maassen: 'No man is smart enough to grasp his own stupidity'
This is very true. And there are no exceptions. Especially not me.
If you try to unravel your own stupidity you eventually will encounter it. I guess mostly in the shape of someone else. Who does have some form of interest in you, and making him or her look at you.
I guess, my stupidity is, that I hoped I could thwart my own. That I could be consistent, and pervasive. That I was able and intelligent enough not to be fooled by my surroundings.
Now I am thinking, If i ever was. It was because my surroundings, where just lame as simple. And the moment I ventured into more difficult areas of life. Namely, not my own. I hit some sort of lantern quite hard and it bounced me on the ground. Resulting into discovering that parts of me where in fact characteristics I really hate in other people.
On the one hand I thank whomever gave me this realisation. On the other it left me somewhat mentally breathless.
I have no idea what to think of myself now.
What am I? (and this is not some sort of existential crisis)
What did I dive into?...
Instictively, I would say I needed to run. But that would be really just running away from myself, which as it seems is the one person running from is fruitless.
I feel empty, I haven't felt like this in a long time. It feels like I have to rethink myself over. But I know that very likely there is no more space for others in my life then.
Which in my opinion isn't an option either. Because it didn't render me with fruitfull results really. Let alone provide a social and realistic feedback for what I think and do.
Am I afraid? Maybe I am though. Maybe I am afraid to loose what little I have. And it isn't materialistic. It is what knowledge I have about how I react, and why. Buddhists might say it is better to drop this sense of self. But I think that to do that, you might need to understand 'self'' before you go by dropping it.
I don't know yet just what to do.
Perhaps I need to speak a little down under to get ther.
This is very true. And there are no exceptions. Especially not me.
If you try to unravel your own stupidity you eventually will encounter it. I guess mostly in the shape of someone else. Who does have some form of interest in you, and making him or her look at you.
I guess, my stupidity is, that I hoped I could thwart my own. That I could be consistent, and pervasive. That I was able and intelligent enough not to be fooled by my surroundings.
Now I am thinking, If i ever was. It was because my surroundings, where just lame as simple. And the moment I ventured into more difficult areas of life. Namely, not my own. I hit some sort of lantern quite hard and it bounced me on the ground. Resulting into discovering that parts of me where in fact characteristics I really hate in other people.
On the one hand I thank whomever gave me this realisation. On the other it left me somewhat mentally breathless.
I have no idea what to think of myself now.
What am I? (and this is not some sort of existential crisis)
What did I dive into?...
Instictively, I would say I needed to run. But that would be really just running away from myself, which as it seems is the one person running from is fruitless.
I feel empty, I haven't felt like this in a long time. It feels like I have to rethink myself over. But I know that very likely there is no more space for others in my life then.
Which in my opinion isn't an option either. Because it didn't render me with fruitfull results really. Let alone provide a social and realistic feedback for what I think and do.
Am I afraid? Maybe I am though. Maybe I am afraid to loose what little I have. And it isn't materialistic. It is what knowledge I have about how I react, and why. Buddhists might say it is better to drop this sense of self. But I think that to do that, you might need to understand 'self'' before you go by dropping it.
I don't know yet just what to do.
Perhaps I need to speak a little down under to get ther.
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